August 12, 2014
Thank you for your help yesterday. I was unsure whether I really followed your plan for the day. Sometimes I just did what I wanted. Surely there is a balance. Surely I can sometimes do what I want?
Of course. Do you give your children time to do what they want? You show them balance between their desires and their responsibilities. Sometimes they get out of balance. Sometimes you do too. It’s not an easy thing, even as a adult. What I really want you do to is stop allowing your spiritually abusive background to speak to you about this.
Spiritual abuse says, “If you’re not giving ALL your effort, you’re failing.”
I say, “I don’t need your effort. I want you to be a whole person.”
Spiritual abuse says, “Redeem the time because the days are evil.”
I say, “I am the great redeemer. I am beyond time. I redeem all things for my children.”
Spiritual abuse says, “Perfection is the goal in all things.”
I say, “Be mature enough to realize perfection is not possible. Enjoy my goodness.”
Spiritual abuse says, “When you look back on your life, will you regret this?”
I say, “When you look back on your life, you will see my hand in every day, every moment.”
Spiritual abuse says, “God has a plan for your life, a path designed for you to walk in. Don’t stray from the path.”
I say, “I made life to be an exciting journey! Though I know your life in its entirety before it begins, you have more say in it than I do. That’s the way I wanted it! I give you life and breath and a beautiful world in which to live, and then I revel in what you do with it!”
I am always with you. I always have been. I always will be. Whatever you’re doing, I am there. You are free!
This post is part eleven of a series in which I share past prayer journal entries documenting my process out of spiritual abuse and into the freedom God intends for all of us. To read a synopsis of my story, click here. To go to the first of this series, read Looking Back.
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