To My Knees

Hello my friends…

It is currently Christmas day, and I am curled up on my unnaturally comfortable couch, feeling very satisfied after eating my weight in baked potatoes. Today I am reminded once again of His faithfulness and goodness. That I am able to experience life in abundance because of my Father who sent His son to die for me, a blameless King who died the brutal death of a criminal, a young girl who was obedient to the terrifying yet pivotal call on her life- to birth the Saviour of the world. 

This past year I have had one phrase circumnavigating my brain pretty frequently… a phrase that simply says “To my knees”. At the beginning of the year I thought I had a pretty good understanding of this phrase and of the beautiful picture accompanying it. However, as I am nearing the end, of not only the year, but this decade, I have begun to realise the importance of this phrase. Not just as a symbol or a pretty picture: a position reserved solely for worship nights at youth camp. I have begun to realise the importance of being on my knees- more as a life posture. A position in which I can both cry out to Him and praise Him, in which I can find “the secret place”, a place of intercession, a posture of surrender. 

At first, my only understanding was one of desperation, of the woman who was accused of adultery, on her knees before Jesus, desperate to be granted mercy. In reality, this is largely what pushes us to our knees more often than not. The weight on our shoulders too heavy to bear. I have experienced moments like this throughout this past year where sadness has seemed to envelop me and I have almost felt forced to my knees in a last attempt to overcome the obstacle before me.  If my pride and reluctance to surrender control in these moments had not been so great, I am sure breakthrough, or at least peace would have come earlier. Despite this, I have good news! This posture is in fact not one of defeat, but one of victory. When the weight pressing down on us us becomes too great, and we are pushed to surrender it all to our Father, that is in fact, many a time, the moment He begins to move. In Matthew 5:3 (MSG) it says: “You are blessed when you are at the end of your rope. With less of you, there is more of God and His rule”. Therefore, can I encourage you, that when things start to get a little bit tougher than usual, find that posture of surrender, hand it all over to Him. He will start fighting on your behalf, and like with the woman accused of adultery, we find Him bending down to meet us in our mess, releasing us to move forward, into freedom. 

I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
    out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
    and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
    and put their trust in him.

Psalm 40

On the other hand, I have also discovered the value of surrender in joy. Where I have become pushed to my knees by the incomprehensible weight of His glory until I actually do not really know whether I want to laugh or cry or vomit (gross ha). But seriously, surrender is not just for the hard times… it’s for those moments where your heart is bursting, the moments where everything seems to be going just right. The value found here is in the simple yet immeasurably important act of worship. Of bringing our praise before the one who deserves our all. It is also found in the act of humbling ourselves, of declaring that regardless of the situation, He is always greater. “He must become greater, I must become less” (John 3:30 – NIV). He is still capable of more. Of more breakthrough, of greater revival, of further hearts reconciled to Him. 

Come, let us bow down in worship,
    let us kneel before the Lord our Maker;
for he is our God
    and we are the people of his pasture,
    the flock under his care.

Psalm 95:6-7

Long story short, whether I am in the thick of trials, or a waiting season, or whether I am simply drawn to my knees because of the sheer awe I experience in the presence of the one who saved me- my prayer is that I would ALWAYS remain in a posture of absolute surrender- at the end of my rope- no matter how uncomfortable, how bruised my knees get or even how high up I am on the mountain. My prayer is that He would always draw me to a place of intimacy, a place of awe and wonder. That “to my knees” would no longer be an occasional action- but a lifestyle. 

Enjoy the festivities everyone. 

I am beyond excited to see the adventures 2020 holds. 


Matilda xo

One response to “To My Knees”

  1. Misha Van Niekerk Avatar
    Misha Van Niekerk

    BEST BEST BEST !!!!!!
    You INSPIRE ME Tilly 💜


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: