March 14, 2014, morning
This is the second time this week I have heard an audible voice call my name.* I like it. What do you want to say?
I want you to keep listening to me. I have a lot to say.
Do you mean right now or in general?
What I have to say will take months, even years. And it’s going to involve everyday moments. It’s time to bring you out of that dark place and into the light. I want to shine my light on all the dark places in you.
Sounds kind of scary.
It is to someone who has been in the dark so long. But I am your light. Do not be afraid. I am coming to rescue you. You can trust me.
I feel such a peace.
Good. That’s all I want to say right now. Meditate on my words for a few moments. Keep relaxing in that place. And keep listening.
Your words illuminate Psalm 27 like never before. Thank you. I love you.
I love you… so much more that you know.
See how much you love your kids? You are a good mom.
I’m back. I’m tired and would love a nap. Do I have your permission to take one?
You’re thinking of this wrong. There’s nothing wrong with taking a nap if you’re tired. You’re putting this burden on yourself. It’s not from me.
But what about…? Well, now that I think about it, it does seem resting is one of your key themes. It’s when I strive that I become angry.
Good memory. Hang onto that and let me show you how to rest even when you’re busy.
* Background: I thought I heard my husband say my name. It sounded like his voice. The first time he was next to me in bed asleep, and I thought maybe he had talked in his sleep. The second time he was in another part of the house but sounded like he was in the room with me. I asked if he had called me and he said he hadn’t. This reminded me of the incident in 1 Samuel 3 when Samuel though he heard Eli calling him, but it turned out to be God. So I responded as if it were God and listened to what he had to say. This has happened to me a total of 3 times to date.
This post is part two of a series in which I share past prayer journal entries documenting my process out of spiritual abuse and into the freedom God intends for all of us. To read a synopsis of my story, click here. To go to the first of this series, read Looking Back.
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Photo Credit: db Photography, https://www.flickr.com/photos/demibrooke/2470252246.